I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
