sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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