Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
