Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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