Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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