ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
