I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
