Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
