I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize