Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
