come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
