Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
