I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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