Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
