It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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