is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
