i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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