South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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