also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
