Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
