Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
