You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
