I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
