Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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