Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
