it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
