You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
