Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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