I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
