Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
