I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
