Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
