kristin has been a bad kristin
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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