So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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