I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
