All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
