a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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