Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
