I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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