I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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