Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
