SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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