come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
