So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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