I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Randomize
