Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Randomize
