I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
