And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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