my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Bring me that man meat
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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