This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
