So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
